Row, Row, Row Your Boat - Please?!?!

Yesterday I had the shift that Judy had had the day before. I was Evergreen Square Host and then on to the boats. I am not your average host, however. I wandered around with a large water gun and my Uncle Sam hat and, in addition to greeting guests, I would squirt the occasional kid (or adult). Reactions ranged from looks that said, "Don't do it!" to wives pointing to their husbands behind their backs saying, "Squirt him!" All in all it was a fun time.

Then it was on to boats. The weather was nice and it was crazy there. Judy had been there for a couple of hours and had everything pretty much under control when I got there. The electric boats had been in use all day, and their batteries were pretty low. Against our better judgment we let 3 of them go out in one group. One was fine. One barely made it back, and one didn't. I mounted up my trusty kayak and went to get them. About halfway up I found them coming back being towed by one of the group that had taken a kayak.

The bad news - obviously - is that they were not pleased. But we have been given a lot of leeway to keep the customers happy. They were leaving the next day so they could not come back. We had the authority to arrange a full refund for all of them (the 3 electric boats and the kayak) without having to get anyone's approval. They were delighted and impressed that we had that authority. Our boss said we had done exactly the right thing.

Later in the afternoon I had a group of 6 post-college girls that took out 3 double kayaks. They wanted to shoot a video entitled "Boats and Ho's" and were dressed up in bizarre costumes. They didn't know what they were doing and didn't pay attention when I gave them a lesson. So they went downstream - always a bad way to start out - and started doing their video. They totally ignored me when I yelled at them and they kept drifting downstream. So once again I hopped into my trusty kayak and went to the rescue. Two of the 3 kayaks managed some how to get back. The 3rd pair of girls were so uncoordinated as to be unbelievable. It took about 20 minutes for me to coach them upstream a couple of hundred yards.

But they weren't my favorite. Two couples went out in canoes right at 7:00 PM - an hour before we closed. The guys claimed to be whitewater kayakers, so I didn't pay too much attention to them. At 8:15, when they hadn't returned, I called for help. One of my bosses came down. She called security and asked them to check out their campsite to see if anyone could get in touch with them. No one could.

My boss then took one of our barely charged electric boats - and a flashlight - and headed upstream to look for them. About 15 minutes later they came merrily paddling UP the river. I radioed my boss, and she came back and yelled at them. When I asked them why they were so late I got an answer that will go down in the annals of the joys of dealing with the public. "We couldn't find the way back."